Elizabeth has written several books that deal with a range of topics for your personal development.

Read more below.

Success with Feedback

Our motivation will be higher, our efficiency greater, our colleagues happier and our accomplishments better, if we receive more feedback in the workplace. Everyone is a winner when using feedback!
So, why are we so bad at giving and receiving feedback? Most people say that they don’t get enough feedback, and the feedback you get is usually received in the wrong way. “It was not my fault”, you might say if you are being critiqued and thereby try to defend yourself, and “I didn’t do anything special” when you are praised.

Elizabeth Kuylenstierna wants to show you how to give and receive constructive and confirming feedback in her book Success with Feedback. You will learn how to handle others who reject criticism, how to express compliments to a colleague, how managers can recognise everyone in a group at the same time as paying extra attention to those who may need more guidance. You will also learn how to make sure that you will get the feedback that you are missing, and to handle the feedback that scares you, in addition to know how to give feedback to those superior to you in the organisation.

Success with Feedback was nominated to the Swedish Human Resources Book of the Year in 2014. The panel (Staff & Leadership) believed that the book offers a deeper understanding of a current and requested topic- They wrote that “this book gives you the full package: background, theory, models, tools, and useful advice. It is written with great commitment and is easy to read”

The Best Feedback in World – the lecture. Find out more.

Good Enough Parenting

How often do you arrange your children’s outfit to make sure they wear the right clothes to school? Do you prepare the most amazing packed lunches to impress the teachers? Are you the extra dad who does everything to be accepted by the children of the new wife? Are you stressing to get to kindergarten early even if your child loves to stay late to play? Or are you the parent of teenagers who has a hard time to set rules as you are afraid of creating a conflict?

What are we teaching our children when we are trying to make everything perfect all the time? When we never say no, barely sit down for more than 15 minutes at a time, or prioritise a shining sink above everything else?

“I became a 1000 times better mum the day I decided to relax more, get rid of my bad conscience and trust myself as a parent instead”

This quote is by Elizabeth Kuylenstierna, who with humour and seriousness describes her own experiences as the perfectionist mother, ambitious school parent, engaged football mum, and how she managed to change her situation.

Good Enough Parenting is her fifth book, which begins from the pregnancy and takes you a long until your child is 18 years old. It gives you inspiration, motivation and useful advice for all parents! When you as a parent is more secure in yourself, take life with a pinch of salt and treat yourself with respect, your child will grow up in a more harmonious surrounding.

Elizabeth has three daughters and was involved with BRIS (Children’s Rights in Society) for almost 12 years, then Ecpat and now Tjejzonen (The Girl Zone). She counsels teenagers regularly about whatever is on their mind, helps parents through therapy and lectures at schools. She shares all her thoughts about parenting in this book.

Let’s Talk

  • You are so boring if you leave already!
  • I love spending time with you, and I will miss you when you leave.

Can you hear the difference between these two sentences? The first one is accusing, with the purpose of making you feel guilty. The second one is expressing love and will make you feel appreciated. Let’s Talk is full of advice on how to communicate to improve your relationships.
Good relationships always top the surveys on what makes people the happiest – far ahead of trips to paradise islands, renovated kitchens and high work bonuses. Yet we spend surprisingly little time on these relationships that mean the most for us. However, through small steps we can make a huge difference!

Our communication will show our values, what attitude we choose to wake up with each day and thereby what results we will have achieved when we go to bed in the evening. When we say what we truly mean and dare to express what our heart is telling us, then our relationships, both with others and with ourselves, will become magical. Through expressing ourselves with clarity, and improving our listening skills, we will not have to face any more misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts, and will instead gain confidence and respect.

But how does this work? Elizabeth Kuylenstierna will bring us on a journey through Let’s Talk, where we can learn how to handle those who steal our energy, respond to insulting comments, quarrel in a better way with our partners, make difficult conversations as managers or talk to our teenagers.

Let’s Talk includes exercises, new mindsets, models of expressions, as well as inspiration and communication which will improve your relationships and thereby also your quality of life – everyone will be a winner!

Let’s Talk was published in Sweden in 2011, followed by India, Germany, Russia, Estonia and Brazil.
Many companies in Sweden have bought this book for all the employers to improve their communication at the workplace.

The Best Communication in the World – the lecture. Find out more.

Free from Perfectionism

Do you feel weighed down by the constant pressure of trying to make everything perfect? The ex-perfectionist Elizabeth Kuylenstierna gives you all her advice on how to improve your self-esteem to distance yourself from your achievements, and thereby become the real winner, in her book Free from Perfectionism.

Free from Perfectionism is part of a non-fiction series with short books of 100 pages maximum, which can be read in an hour. You can start changing your life whilst taking a plane from Stockholm to Malmö, or during that hour between the late news and bed time. All the books in the “På en timme”-serie by Forum (“In an hour”) can be read within an hour, but will give you new knowledge that lasts a lifetime. This small book is a great gift to someone who, in their stressful everyday life, needs to take a moment to gather their thoughts about how they can choose to approach life and what is actually important.

Jealousy Emergency

What actually is jealousy? What is it that makes us think that we have the right to control another person, and thereby act in fear?

For a long time, the most common question that was emailed to Elizabeth Kuylenstierna was how do I handle my jealousy? Or how do I handle the jealousy of others? Elizabeth tried to refer these people to methods, books, lecturers, seminars, and so on, but nothing seemed to be enough. As a result, she decided to write the book herself, the book that could not be found on any book shelves, even if jealousy is something that most people will have experienced.

The Jealousy Emergency was released in 2010 (Forum) to help all the jealous people in the country, and then as a paperback in 2011 (Månpocket).

Jealousy is becoming more and more common, as families change and new relationships are created, siblings fight over their parents’ love, and adults can be jealous of a new partner’s children from a previous relationship. There can be jealousy among colleagues, or friends, and it often evolves when someone is feeling left aside, overtaken, or excluded. However, jealousy is most often found in romantic relationships, where it can be expressed as both a comedy and a tragedy.
It can be the woman who reads her husband’s email and messages every morning before he wakes up, or the man who can’t let go of the suspicion that his wife was flirting at a party – in 1968!
This book offers a way out – both for the jealous person and those who are affected by other people’s jealousy. It offers an emergency strategy for the moment and a foundation to how you can rebuild yourself and your mental strength, so that you can handle jealousy from now on.

Elizabeth writes in an insightful and captivating way about jealousy, its background, causes and consequences. The Jealousy Emergency is a profoundly straight forward, interesting and hopeful book full of possibilities, knowledge, advice, coaching, and people’s honest stories about jealousy.

Good Enough

Good Enough – Free Yourself from Perfectionism (Forum 2009) became a bestseller as soon as it arrived in the bookshops around Sweden, and is still selling well; recently it was back on the list of bestselling paperbacks. There are many people that want to learn about how to find a more relaxed approach to their achievements, and Good Enough has also been released in Norway (Du er god nok)and Germany (Mir reicht’s).

Good Enough is used by people and companies; schools have used it as guiding material, and those training to become coaches have used the book as course literature.

A play was written based on Good Enough, which went on tour at schools all over Sweden.
Good Enough was published as a paperback during the summer of 2010, and got even more attention as a Swedish skier won a bronze medal in the world championships, and revealed that she had used Good Enough to help her reach her goals, and have fun at the same time.

About Good Enough
Someone puts on mascara one eyelash at the time, someone seriously believes that her way of doing the laundry is the only correct way, and someone else must write a to-do-list with the most beautiful handwriting possible.

Perfectionism can be an obstacle for people’s health, beyond the perfect achievements. Did you know that perfectionists rather refrain if they are not 100% certain that they will succeed? Or that people who are close to a perfectionist feel that they are also affected by the perfectionist’s low self-esteem and desire to be liked?

Elizabeth Kuylenstierna was almost killed by her perfectionism, but managed to turn it around, and now she is living the life of her dreams, by helping others. The requirements of making everything perfect involve all parts of life: work, weekends, home, relationships towards children, family, and friends, as well as one’s view on the body and the appearance.

Elizabeth uses humour and thoughtfulness as she tells us about what life can look like for a perfectionist, or for someone who lives with a perfectionist, using stories of her own combined with those of others.

Elizabeth gives you clear advice on how to make a change, not just to survive, but to actually live! It is all about understanding that you are – good enough.